Top 5 Uses For Your New Diploma

In eight days, I will be graduating from college. About six weeks after that, I will receive the latest addition to my growing collection of useless scholarly memorabilia: my diploma. When I was young (i.e. last year), I used to think that getting my Bachelor's degree would be the end-all of my educational career, but my over-stuffed binder of graduate school applications begs to differ.

I'm fairly certain that many recent college graduates share my current disillusionment with higher education. Many of us will have to set our fancy new degrees aside in order to accept jobs that allow us to live only slightly below the poverty line--if only because we hope that it will look good on the C.V. that we just wrote for graduate school. (Although most people, myself included, have no idea what a C.V. is before they sit down to write one.)

If any of the above applies to you, never fear--here is a list of things that you can do with your diploma:

5. Target Practice: for the nerf wars that you still enjoy with your college roommates or younger siblings. We know you don't have money to live on your own.

4. Christmas Gift: for your parents to hang in their living room. Hopefully your degree is something that sounds fancy, so that your parents will be able to brag about the fact that you majored in the same subject as Kate Middleton without also having to say that you make less than they will on social security.

3. Conversation Starter: for those swanky cocktail parties that you wish you were fancy successful enough to get invited to. Or for sitting around the cash bar at your significant other's Christmas party--because that's the same, right? Now if only your purse was big enough to stuff that diploma into....

2. Bathroom Art: because where else are you going to get people to read it? This is especially good if it says something fancy on it, like "with honors" or "summa cum laude."

1. Tissue: let's be honest--this is really what you need most right now, since you'll be doing a lot of crying over it when your student loan deferral falls through!

In all seriousness, I'm not that cynical about my degree... yet. Talk to me after my graduate school acceptance/rejection letters swarm in, and then I'll reevaluate.

If you have a sad/funny/practical suggestion for diploma use, leave a comment! In the meantime, I will leave you with my favorite blogs of the week:

This amazing jewelry blog, since jewels are one of my favorite things, and this heartwarming blog about a NYC woman's daily life!